Itami's Musings

2007-07-24T18:37:00.000-07:00

Allo to everyone!

Wow! It's been a really long while since I've written here. Well, I've been busy. Or maybe I thought I was busy. But... Well... Anyway...

Cayleigh's grown up now... nope. Not that much. She's 1 year old now. And she's getting prettier and more incorrigible everyday. She loves to dance... and she's really the darling of our lives...

Funny.

A long time ago, I would never have thought that I would want to have a family of my own... but I guess after meeting my hubby and falling in love with him, that certainly has changed. I guess it happens. Because you want to be a family.

I know the two of us can be a family, but we were blessed to have a baby. And we thank God for that. I wonder if other people feel the same way... you know... about being married and having a family of your own.

2007-03-08T06:07:00.000-08:00

Alloooo!

It's been a while. Whew! A year has passed since I gave birth to my darling daugher. She turned 1 last sunday, March 4. Oh my gosh! Do i have a story to tell... but i shall do that later. Right now, my job is to post pictures. HORK! And here they are! These are our new year pix okay.

2006-08-31T21:57:00.000-07:00

THE BIRTHING STORY...

I know this is like really late... but i just had to write it here... I'm still thinking of a title for it:

1. How my day went when i gave birth...?
2. Giving Birth...?
3. Cayleigh's debut...?

Okay, you choose for me... it's kinda funny really. Hehehehe. How should i start this... ahhh... okay...

It was Friday, March 3, I was still round as if i've just swallowed a huge watermelon. I was getting ready for my weekly check-up... yes... when you're in your 8th to 9th month... you will have weekly check-ups. As i was saying, well... when i had my check up, the doc saw that i was only 2cms wide... okay honestly, having an internal check up is not all that groovy... but it is needed...

So after hearing that, ritchie and i went home and i met with my writer. So i finished my teaching her how to synch and brought her to the studio to meet my director and the dubbers and the technicians because i was already giving her most of my work. So going to the studio we had to climb 4 flights of stairs and i stayed at work till 10pm... then when i went home, i had to go down another 4 flights of stairs...

So, isn't it a wonder that my water broke at 1:45am of march 4? I woke up feeling icky so i told ritchie... darling... something's weird... okay for the faint-hearted this story is not for you.

And ritchie asked: how weird? i think i'm soaked...
so he sent me to the bathroom and told me to cough. i did... then he asked: did you gush?
i said yes...
he nodded then matter-of-factly said... your water broke.
i said, ah... okay. and after cleaning myself and taking measures not to get soaked, i went to the bed and said, with a little bit of consternation: oh dear... and we haven't even packed yet. and i sighed. i also told him... darling, i think i'm a little scared...
so ritchie sat up on the bed and asked: what do you want to do? go to the hospital?
i scrunched my nose and said: nah... it's still too early... and my contractions are like 20 minutes apart... i still want to sleep.
my husband nodded and said: okay we sleep then. you go back to bed while i prepare yours and the baby's stuff.
i smiled at him and went back to sleep.
when he was done he joined me on the bed, we snuggled then slept till 5:30. afterward ritchie went down ahead of me to breakfast... and he off-handedly mentioned to my father-in-law that they were taking me to the hospital after breakfast. ritchie took a bite off his ham then when he turned back to his father, my inlaw was no longer there but went driving off to get my mother-in-law at the church... that was really funny... yes, my father-in-law panics easily. hehehehe...

when he came back i was already eating. and he suddenly rushed me because he wanted me to get to the hospital immediately. both ritchie and i told him to calm down and said that i still wanted to bathe. hehehehehe...

okay so at 9am we zoomed to the hospital. when i got there and when i was examined i was already 4cm... so they sent me off to the labor room... it took awhile before i delivered cayleigh... and the events that happened in the labor room was quite interesting.

i chatted with the interns who were timing my contractions... then a little after 10 the drugs doctor was brought in... ahhhh... drugs... it felt great... okay... there was this burly guy... i don't know what you call them, but they needed to stick something in my spine so they needed me to bend... and since i couldn't do that alone, he folded me... LITERALLY! and after that... well sleep and chat... and at 2pm... cayleigh was ready to meet the world.

okay it took another hour before she came out... well, there were lots of factors.
1. since i got anesthesia... i couldn't feel my legs... and my contractions so i couldn't push properly...

2. cayleigh was not in the right position. instead of facing down, she was facing up...

okay... it doesn't really matter now, does it? she's hear and she's just adorable...

there that's the story of cayleigh's delivery. heheheheh

2006-08-26T19:36:00.000-07:00

UPDATES IN LIFE...

Hey there... Well... sure i've got my baby on my mind all the time, however, i have started with other stuff since July... I'm really happy with my husband. He's understanding and totally different from other double standard men... what do i mean by that? Well, ever since Cayleigh was born i kinda stuck to her like glue. I don't even want to concentrate on work. I just wanted to take care of her.

I think women get to have that time in there lives... maybe that's why it hurts them sooo much when their children become rebellious or don't respect them when they grow older. I mean, we do put our everything in raising the little cuties.

This is for Cayleigh just in case she reads this when she grows up: Everything that you do is recorded. [That's not meant to scare you... it means...] every milestone, every struggle, it's recorded, not only by pictures and videos but through journals as well. You are really loved. Not only by me, but by everyone whose lives you have touched. I stay up at night watching you sleep... and i keep waking up every hour just to make sure you aren't too cold and to see if you're hungry. You see... you don't cry and you just suck your little fingers when you're hungry so sometimes other people who take care of you don't realize that you're hungry till it's too late. I stop my work just to take care of you even though i have a 4pm deadline on the same day...

So many sacrifices, i tell you... and we do it out of love not because we want to throw it in your face once you get older. That's just an insight to being a mother. However, I can't provide for us if i just stay home and become a housewife.

So, I've gone back to work... However, I haven't gone back to training. I dub and write scripts for now because that gives me income even though i do most of my work at home. I currently have 4 projects right now. I'm happy with what i'm getting... honestly, God provides.

Ritchie was thinking about getting a supervisory position at his work... which would mean less time with his family but more money... and we asked each other... do we need more money? Sure we could do with a lot more cash... but call us idealists... we chose to be with our family more. Why? Because we believe that God provides and he gives us what we need everyday. Sure, we can't buy new things all the time, but it teaches us to save for the things that we really want.

Take note that we aren't rich financially... ritchie's parents are rich... we're building up for other riches besides the one that's made of paper... but you know what? it's kinda funny... because every time we lean on God, he gives us more. As i've said i have 4 projects now... and i'm earning enough... so i decided... that... i should get me something for this year.

my last project was a digi-cam which i bought last year. this year... i think i want to buy a new phone and a new laptop. :) Yeah... that would be good. So, i'll save for those things... I can probably buy those in a few months. :)

I think that's it for now...

2006-08-26T19:04:00.000-07:00

Here are the pictures!

Okay... it's been a while again since i've left a thoughtful message in my blog. There have been many things that happened since then... Hehehe... i opened a baby journal in my pregnancy weekly site. It's kinda cool as I can monitor every new thing that Cayleigh does.

Take note... my life right now is centered on the baby. She's a real pride after all. Not only is she cute, but she's also very smart. And just to show her to you... here you go!

Okay it looks like a hodge podge of pictures up there, but honestly i don't know how putting pictures in this blogger works. But there you go! Hope you like them... Actually there's more, however this blogger has limite capacity for pictures... Isn't she just soooo cute?! Okay, later! I think i'll write about other stuff again. :)

2006-08-12T08:43:00.000-07:00

So many things...

Okay... it's been a long time since my last post... why? motherhood is not easy... it's fun and it has a lot of happy things involved in it, however, it is not easy and it's a lot of work... I've been working as well... i haven't been as active as i was when i was single, but God has given me lots of opportunities and i am very thankful... i haven't been writing for hamtaro for quite some time and i'm not inclined to do so for a while... honestly, i really don't know why... it would give extra income, but I'm not interested in writing for hamtaro yet... Gosh let me think why... well, i actually wrote 108 episodes of those rodents so right now... i'm laying low. :)

But hamtaro is quite good. It's our life blood right now... it's just exhausting to write. I want to write for other anime so I'm picking my projects. If you will notice, my husband is very chronological with his blog and the writing of events that have happened in his life... me... i prefer to write them out... i can't remember all of the things happened chronologically. Heheheheh...

Well, i don't write for hamtaro as i got 2 writers for me... so they're the ones taking care of the rodents for me. hehehe... i do write for other projects... because writing scripts really pays a lot... so i write for new and other non-rodenty projects. hehehehe...

And i've gotten a baby journal where i put all cayleigh's breakthroughs. You'll just have to read it from there... wait... i don't know if i can share it... i'll see and i'll post it here.

Next... we got a nanny for cayleigh coz i needed help and mama needs help as well.

Oh and we got married in the church last June 25, 2006... really funky wedding. We've got pictures but it'll take a while before i can post any of them. We'll just see. heheheheh...

So that's it for now... will try to write again in a few days.

2006-03-30T03:35:00.000-08:00

WE ARE NOT HELPING OUR CHILDREN!

For crying out loud! I've had so much respect for the Surf commercial because it had quality. It gave us a glimpse of how some Filipino families with good values live in the Philippines. Take note of the word "some". I don't hold filipinos in high regard with regard to family lifestyle. Only a few of us would actually be honest with regard to how we're supposed to live... i mean with regard to our lifestyle and all.

Besides... they have an ongoing story. I mean i saw those children grow up for chrissakes and they're with us every freaking special ocassion! I mean the Christmas surf commercial is good and the pine smelling detergent! Come on! They're already part of our yearly local tv life. But come on, I think they should have done better with their latest commercial.

The song was good and the idea of greeting mom for mother's day is cool with me too. But please, please, please, please! People! "Ur D best 'nay!" is not a good example for our children who are watching TV when the damn commercial comes out! What are we teaching them? How to write in "phone text" format? Are we insane? Are we deliberately trying to make our children stupid? Sorry, are we deliberately trying to make all filipinos stupid? No wonder we're so behind other asian countries!

It's not right to do that. Trying to be "in" is out of the question when you're doing something wrong. So quit it! Text messaging is for texting only. People we need to re-educate ourselves with regard to making ourselves a "quality" people once again... not just be a bunch of half-baked wannabies.

2006-03-09T01:13:00.000-08:00

I'm a Mommy!

Greetings to all! I am very happy. It's just now that i was able to go online as i've been customising myself to motherhood. I love being Cayleigh's mom. I love my baby... and i love my little family.

I'm very thankful to God for the strength and the joy he has given me. Cayleigh alone is already a big blessing, but what makes me feel overwhelmed and really blessed is the support everyone has given me. Thank you to my in-laws, my parents, our wonderful friends and my very, very, very loving husband. Truly, it's not not the monetary blessings that make you happy... it's everything that surrounds you that is alive and pulsing with energy and love.

Our baby is... i can't seem to find the right word... smart? Well at 2 days old, she's already turning her body to the position she likes to sleep in... she can also turn her head on her own. She's truly amazing... and just this morning... she grabbed her bottle... okay don't think super kid or someone so small holding her own bottle, but she did hold on to her nipple... Okay, all moms would say their child is amazing... but i definitely know mine is.

Ritchie and i love her very much. the nine months of carrying her is the easy time... raising her would be a wonderful thing to go through... and i'm sure that God will bless us every step of the way. It's up to us to grow with her... and not for just her to grow up.

I've got to go... i want to spend time with my husband and baby...

PS: Sorry for looking disheveled... but i just gave birth... hahahahahaha!

2006-03-03T07:53:00.000-08:00

Relaxation...

Hurrahhhhh! I am now able to rest! Sure i've got 2 more scripts pending, but! But! Now, I am given more time. I can sit back, do some cross stitching, play my wild arms game or work on my character in our new rpg campaign. Thank you, Lord!

today, my hubby and i went to the doctor and found out that our baby is still not close to coming out. hehehehe... but i could already feel her impatience... and yes, we already have a name for our little angel... we'll talk about that later... my babu wants to post it when she's out.... ahhh... surprise, surprise.

I met with my new writer and gave her instructions on how to write the new animation i'm going to give her. then we went to the studio so she could meet the technicians and the voice talents and to watch one dubbing session. she also met my director... so she's arleady in. and i successfully passed my remaining project to her. i also saw that the other project that i was planning to give her would not be recorded yest, sooooo... i'm still safe and i could finish the last 2 episodes of my other project before my baby arrives.

okay. yes, i'm still working. it keeps my mind preoccupied but in a way, i don't like leaving people hanging. i just want to finish what i started. and this anime is only 50 episodes so, i can finish this one by next week. the one that i passed on will go on for another hundred episodes soooo... i decided to pass it.

as i said before i feel a little sadness with regard to losing one of my baby projects, but I think God is telling me... hey, let go and let Me [God]. during my 8th month of pregnancy i received calls from different companies asking me to give english/communication training... i wasn't thinking : awwww shucks... the money that i'll be missing... more like: awww that opportunity to work and learn and share new stuff again... it's the same with my projects.

but looking into it now, i realized what God was telling me. hey, we have so many opportunities. i can give you many other opportunities. it doesn't mean that if you're gone a few days, weeks or months that you're not going to get anything good anymore... Trust Me. and i remember that time that i left my first love of a job and went into the call center industry because i needed to put my sister to school... i felt horrible. i know i missed out on a lot of good projects and i really felt envious of my friends who continued what they loved to do...

i thought i won't get anymore opportunities like what i started a long time ago... but lo and behold, with only 2k in the bank and no where to go, i resigned from my regular... tenured job and went back to freelance voice acting.... and what do you know... honestly, God was faithful and he gave me work immediately.

i love my work... but i really think i need to pull back from it and look at other things. I've realized that i'm mostly work. i love my hubby, but it's my work that seems to be taking my number 2 spot and not my family.

and so... i think i'm being shown that i could have something better now... and i do feel more relaxed and free. i don't feel down. cast away these earthly bindings and you'll be free. now that's something really cool.

2006-02-28T06:37:00.000-08:00

Just thinking...

Right now... i'm relaxing... in all honesty, i should be relaxing and not worrying about lots of stuff anymore. :)

In a way i feel guilty that i am not doing my work, but i just feel like i want to do something else. What could this be? Is it being lazy or i need to relax? Could it be i'm pressuring myself to just continuously work? A lot of people say that i need to take it easy now. I'm not being a martyr. It's just that... i guess i've had work for forever and that's what i've focused my mind on since i entered college and graduated.

I've loved my husband since we were in college and yes he's part of my life, but i guess i see that it's my work that i've concentrated on. I mean, honestly, call me cold when i'm concentrating and working on something... and i just realized that i have been putting it first rather than my health, my husband and well... everything else.

There are times that i wish i could have a vacation... but i cna't seem to find the right time... but when will i have the right time, huh? Have i not done enough, i wonder? I think i've worked enough.

i don't want to worry about what will happen after later or when i give birth. i feel like i want to leave everything behind... not leave.. not to worry about so many things. i guess it has something to do with money... i don't know. is it about money? hmmm... i guess it's more on responsibility taken to another level. i guess i've obsessed about it.

it's good to be repsonsible, but i think i shouldn't over do it. i shouldn't miss out on anything just because of work. hmmm... i do have other things as well... so should i just drop projects when there are offers?

i think it's more on giving correct priorities. what is more important to me, right? now the challenge is... really sorting out what's important to me. HORK i say. hmmm...

2006-02-25T00:10:00.000-08:00

Priveleges...

Today ritchie and i went shopping for lotsa extra baby stuff. It was so exciting and euphoric. There were so many to choose from! There are so many things that can be given to baby and I wanted to get so many things! But of course, ritchie and i had a budget. I'm not sad that we had a budget. it's discipline for ritchie and i and hopefully it's a quality that our baby will also have... discipline, i mean.

That's not the privelege thing i want to talk about. While eating our meager lunch and watching other people pass by and looking at the stores, it just hit me that ritchie and i are so priveleged. I mean sure, we can't buy everything we want, we don't have our own place, we aren't monetarily rich [believe me, we're not] and so on and so forth... but we are so blessed and i just saw that we're priveleged.

How?

We are so thankful that we have good jobs. So what if it's in a call center or we're freelance and we have to run around running after other people's schedules... we have jobs that allow us to give our monthly contributions so we aren't totally dependent on our parents/in-laws. we have jobs that allows us to go on our little, simple dates and be with each other.

We are so blessed and priveleged because mu husband and i are able to spend time with each other. We don't always have to have a schedule to go out. We aren't pressed for time. Just as long as we're together... my babuf and i are happy.

We are priveleged because we have so many good and wonderful friends. We all have quirks, we all have differences, but we're a blessing to each other.

I know that there are more blessings... like wonderful in-laws. they truly are caring and full of things to share to ritchie and i. my parents are slowly changing as well and i am very thankful for that... there are so many other things. i can't name them all... i'm just writing about some of them just to say it out loud or write it out...

Oh, by the way... when we arrived in mega mall we heard bagpipes and lo and behold! it was some guy named Roy and he can play the bagpipes! i swear and he had a complete outfit! he was wearing his kilt/plaid/tartan... today was really a wonderful day. :)

2006-02-20T09:29:00.000-08:00

I have the pictures from the shower... please don't laugh at my teddy bear night gown. heheheheheh...

2006-02-20T02:53:00.000-08:00

Many thanks to the Wonderful People who went to the Shower!!!

Your presence was a blessing to us. We had a wonderful time and we actually closed the shower at 9:30pm! The gifts you have given are still in the den waiting for Ritchie and i to open them... i just want him to be there when i open those wonderful things you have given the little bunchums.

Thank you for helping us with the names. Hahahah! You'll find out what her names will be here on my blog. Yes! She will have a second name and we'll chose it from the second most popular in the list.

Thank you again and wait for the pics!

2006-01-24T20:20:00.000-08:00

Defensive Mechanisms...

It's just funny. People have this unusual way of handling embarrassment (sorry, i speak well, but damn, my spelling needs work... hey that's why i have a dictionary... hehehehe). My husband and i were at NBI and there was this woman who was told to put her thumb mark on the clearance paper.

Okay, there's this guy who helps with the finger marking... and the girl just went over, coated her thumb with whatever they use for that thumb marking and stabbed it on her paper... then she made saw she a mistake... now then she turns to the guy and asks him if it was wrong and when she found out it was, she got all angry and blamed the guy for not helping her... how weird is that? And my gosh did she make a scandal out of the guy not helping her in the first place...

i don't know. it's nice to learn that there are people who have matured and learned to swallow their pride. it's just so easy to blow up and scream to the world that things aren't fair... but hey, it is fair, we're just not too happy with our share that's why we make lots of fuss about it.

i'm not saying we should just be complacent. that's not my point. we were born to be achievers, to finish goals... we expect a lot we need to work a lot for it... i don't know maybe it was easy back then when we didn't fall... but that was eons ago and i can't change it due to the fact that jumping generations won't cut it.

anyway, going back to being defensive... what is it all about anyway? i guess it's all that i think i'm better so i need to push my ideas more. how do we fix this quirk? do i say we need to grow up? hmmm... let me think... well, in order not to be defensive people need to see if what they have done is right or wrong... and admitting that you're wrong is one of the hardest thing someone can ever do. there's this big lump in your throat that you just can't swallow when you know you've made a mistake and since you don't want to swallow that you just burst out ranting and trying to prove your point.

but you know what, swallowing that big lump gets easier and easier and you notice that it becomes smaller and smaller as you learn to admit you're wrong... and so yes, growing up is needed to take away being so defensive. we're protecting ourselves when we become defensive. our ideas, our stuff, our points of view... but you know what... it's not just about you or me or the other guy... it's about everyone else. if you don't want to be proven wrong or if you don't want to have anyone challenge you, then be an island. you''ll have no care, you'll have peace of mind and you'll be alone. this isn't such a bad thing you know... but that's a totally different point now and i'm not going to going to that today.

oh well, so that's it for defensive mechanisms. here are tips by the way to be quickly helped by people working in our government:

1. smile, always greet people with a smile. the people who work behind the counters are important. they can make your life hell or they can make the process of whatever you're applying for become shorter. oh yes... it's supposed to be a genuine smile. from the core of your heart that would lift up your face and put twinkles in your eyes. hey it makes people warm all over.

2. be polite. call them by their names, not just boss, bossing, miss, psst! either sir or ma'am would do. and using po (filipino thing... this is a really important word. it gets you to different places in the philippines and lots of people to help you) with excuse me and other stuff that you wish to say. aside from being polite be contrite as well, no haughtiness here. it's a death trap when you become haughty and i tell you, the people at the counter will hate you forever.

3. be helpful. when the guy behind the counter loses his pen due to someone borrowing it, lend yours to quicken the paperwork he's doing. and when he reaches your documents you smile sweetly. he'll remember you for that. not only a he but also a she.

4. make simple, day to day chitchat. inform them about your hardships of applying for stuff because you know nothing... people love telling you what they know...

most of the stuff here are old news but hey, it's good to remember them once in awhile.

5. and lastly, never be afraid to ask. you're more stupid if you don't ask dammit!

so there... in all honesty this thing about defensive mechanism... it's just us being little again holding on to that comfort blanket that we always carry around. :)

later then

2006-01-23T07:20:00.000-08:00

Hello there my dear friends and baby shower guests!

Baby shower: Febuary 19, 2006, Sunday at 4PM
At: 67 Celery Drive, Valle Verde 5, Pasig

For now here's the list of the food that we'll have on the 19th. I'll be updating my blog just to show you the food promised by other people so we won't have the same thing all over the place.

Since w'ere having an afternoon snack-coffee party here are the list:

Mitch - tuna and egg sandwiches, palitaw, iced tea and coffee
Elf - another bag of different coffee
Ditas - cheese cake
Cha - chicken empanada
Rod - korniks, pop corn and chips
Bon - chocolate mandarin with mint (this is a drink)
Ninang Rose - BBQ
Jean and Caesar - Pichi-pichi or palabok (will confirm later)
Henry - Mango Float
Van - Banana Cake
Ma - Spaghetti
Dinoy - 1 case of soda/cola
Switch - Dinuguan
Yvette - Pancit

Here are other details you might want to know :)

We are registered at Baby & Co. Podium (You may also go to the one at Rockwell) There are 5 discount coupons available for the first people who arrive there. (It's only valid for the stuff on the registry list and things that aren't on sale) ... But we'd be happy for stuff that aren't on the list! ;)

We'd really , really appreciate it if you confirm your attendance for the shower so we'll know how many tables and seats to prepare. :) RSVP with: Rod - 0920-9148154 or you can reach me through mail, my cell or ym.

That's it for now. Text, mail or ping us through ym. Thanks a lot you wonderful people!

2006-01-19T22:20:00.000-08:00

Aha!

So it's been quite some time that i've actually written on my blog. I miss this. This being able to just tell the world of what i've been doing... i wonder why we do this?

I have lots of ideas, but i won't comment about it right now. I've got trillions to do... let me just list them down. NO this is not a ranting session... i'm just listing down the things i'm doing. Just to let you know as well...

1. I'M PREGNANT AND I'M GOING TO GIVE BIRTH THIS MARCH!!!

2. I'm preparing for a baby shower... you know what, it's kinda funny, my mom-in-law told me that i'm not supposed to be the one to prepare this and it's supposed to be my friends. it was the same thing my koala said. he said: "darling, your best friend should be the one preparing for the baby shower."

I kinda looked at him and said, "darling you're my best friend and you're my husband." then i nodded. "fine you prepare my baby shower." well, since it's not a surprise, i'm still doing it... i kinda not know if he can handle the entire prep thing... i guess he can, but he doesn't seem to have any time.

so there! i'm preparing for my baby shower. it's kinda cool really. and i'm so excited to do girly stuff other than my job. yes... let's go to number 3.

3. I'm still working. yes, i'm still dubbing and writing scripts. not to worry. i'll officially stop dubbing the last week of february, but i'll still do scripts.

4. I'm preparing for our church wedding as well. Haaaaay.... lots to do. but in a way it's kinda fun and crazy. looking into flowers, having cake tests, fittings for gowns, making invites, looking for strings, having to make a program, convincing in-laws that traditional weddings are out... talking to our priests...

this is a learning experience mind you. plus i get to interact with people who know alot more about the process of having weddings than i do. by the way, it's true, a wedding is a 1 year process. well, for a busy person like me. i couldn't have managed if it wasn't 1 year.

5. I'm rushing our requirements for our Canada application. don't laugh and don't take this lightly. it's hard. it's exhausting and time consuming. you need legal documents, bank statements, education documents and other stuff. this can't be done in one day and if you're as busy as me, your 1 month isn't much... so there.

6. Then we have to think about quality time for our family. whew! that's a lot to do.

i'm not complaining... the entire thing is just one big event that's waiting for it's culmination in June. i mean parang all the hectic thing will end by that time as the wedding will be done by then. next to me having the baby in March that's the next really big thing that's going to happen.

Hmmmm... i do need help. my mh is going to be looking at flower stuff and give aways. my bm's are the ones who i can't seem to give work to... maybe i should make them do lots of work on the wedding day itself. hehehehe... evil me. i'll just check out the stuff that needs to be done.

I'm also saying that not all the time everything's been peachy. there are those time that i had my "grrrrr" moments. and my "awww" moments... but i just bristle and grumble and then talk to my hubby about it then i mellow down again. heheheheh... i love my koala. i am able to tell him everything. it's nice to have open communication with the one you love.

remember: relationships aren't just about "ooohs and ahhhs" and "kissy-kissy", t's also "blah". so that's it for now. if i think of something else, i'll type it in.

2005-09-15T00:54:00.000-07:00

Total Weirdness Factor

Hey there... kinda weird really. I really think my family in my mother's side is dysfunctional.

1. I got married and it's kinda freaky that my mom hasn't gotten it out of her system that i can't fix her domestic problems. she keeps telling me she's taking care of her family, 3 little boys: dad and my 2 sibbies. It's frustrating really. she talks to me about the same things... and it is her family. ahhh... sigh, i guess they depended on me too much.

See! I shouldn't have married at a late age! I should have married a long time ago, so that i'd have a reason to just support me and my hubby. But i'm also happy that we waited this long... at least babu and i already know what we both want in our marriage and we're still growing...

2. Coming into the next thing about dysfunctional-ness... we had dinner with my family last sunday and invited some of my mother's family... all i can say is some of them were really rude and it's good that i haven't listed them as my guest for the church wedding next year... Okay going into the weirdness factor... my cousin who has a daughter and has been married for quite sometime congratulated me and said so how has it been so far? I answered coolness and everything's fine. She gave me a funny look and said, i'll wait 10 years and you can tell me what you think about marriage then.

Okay, not a really good thing to tell a newly wed person. I like that she was honest, but i can definitely see that she is or might be having problems with her hubby or marriage. erg, that's what happens when the fire has died... i pray that koala and i will have that friendship and happiness... and it's not left to chance. it's worked at and you definitely need GOD on your side.

And yes to all you cynics out there the reason why your life is so fucked up is because you keep saying there is no god!

And she tells me that we shouldn't have children yet and that we should spend our time with each other first. hmmm... i'm on a limited clock and who am i to tell God not to give us children?

3. My dad becomes emotional and wishes to have a private chat with me. I kinda not know what he wants to chat about. i guess i might have issues with him a long time ago... but i kinda not mind them anymore. i'll grow old and weary if i keep holding on to whatever happened in the past. erg.

4. My aunt who's been hot on my suspended pension plan comes up to me and tells me to start paying again so that we can change the name of my beneficiary. I know having a pension plan is cool, but that would mean i would have to budget really scrimply and i won't save anything for our new place. Money is important, but i think i'll put it in somewhere where i need it as of now. when i'm a little stable again, i'll re-open the damned thing.

Talk about weirdness... i don't know. it's just so... tiring having to consider everything... But honestly the one thing that bothers me is that the elders that i knew have just turned out... turned into something else... having so much elder concerns. it's sad... and it's not just a little... hmmm...

2005-09-15T00:31:00.000-07:00

Getting Married...

I now have a husband... HURRAH! HURRAH!!! i am now a wife. HURRAH! HURRAH!!! It's a little weird considering we've been with each other for so long... and we now finally tied the knot... and we'll do so again next year in June. I sigh. Not a sad exhausted sigh... more like... a little ecstatic. Hihihihihihihih.

We're currently not living with each other which is a bummer, but we're going to find a new placefor us come next month... and then we'll be able to spend christmas with each other! Oh my goodness! No need to go home to our parents!

HURRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Well, there were some weird stuff though and i'm a little disconcerted with certain things. Like comments from my relatives... i think i'll post that in another area... this is my happy page. HARHARHARHAR!

So there, i am now married and I'm very happy i am wed. HORK!

2005-07-10T03:40:00.000-07:00

Meeting Gaiman...

I had 3 books signed yesterday. I was happy. he was a nice guy... and though i was sad that i won't be having dinner with him tomorrow, i'm still happy that i met him...

no i didn't really think he was like... a god (maybe? harharhar) but he is admirable. switch and i met some new friends and our old ones as well...

it's kinda cool to be in one of these events. it was fun! hmmmm... in all honesty, i guess i did a lot of things for the event day and i realized (another realization tada!) that i learned many things... or some...

1. I can say no to work... for an important event, i have the will to say no to potential money. i don't know what God was aiming at, but i think that not all opportunities to make money should be grabbed... i think he was saying that there's more to life than work, work and work... we need to do something else... and we should experience new things.

2. That i actually have money... i budget nowadays and i noticed that i keep scrimping myself from using any of my cash. i've -most of the time- been complaining that i do nothing but save and use my money to pay bills and give to my family... so i used my money to buy myself a new digi cam... yes for this event... i bought a digi cam. :) cute little thing.

3. That i'm not that tired... i just finished recording at 3am that saturday morning... and i had to wake up at 6:30am just to get to makati. ahihihihihihi...

i think i have some other things that i have done and more realization... but i'll write later. i think i'm sleepy and i want ice cream

2005-07-10T03:12:00.000-07:00

Not Tom Cruise...

I watched War of the World with my fiance last June 29... i know this was supposed to be here a long time ago, but then my work had to be finished first... as to that i realized something which i'll log later. harharharhar...

okay... a lot of people are saying that War of the Worlds isn't such a cool or goog movie. Hmmm... for me... i think it's good. I mean, having read Wells' stuff a long time ago, it kinda blurred out of memory... but the idea of bacteria... is really cool. I mean the opening and the ending really did come together...

but it's not about that that i want to talk about. i was never a tom cruise fan... sure i watched top gun, a few good men and the firm... but honestly, in all of those movies i saw tom cruise... i mean look at dances with wolves in japan... wasn't he just tom cruise in japan?

harharhar!!! but i would say that in this movie, there was only a glimpse of tom cruise... and that was when he was doing "the run". and for me that was really good and impressive. i barely saw tom cruise in war of the worlds... the entire cast just worked together... so there... i liked the movie. it was nice and very effective.

2005-06-24T14:16:00.000-07:00

Heavy feet... I don't know why some people have heavy feet. It's not a good thing you know. It's an irritating thing to have... heavy feet. When I was a child i used to have heavy feet. I was reprimanded by my father and since then i move around quietly... of course i had my feet dragging days back when i was in highschool... but i got over it. they made me use up lotsa shoes as my heels kept getting eaten by the ground.

But growing up, i found how valuable having light feet are. i get to move around quietly and let other people sleep. i've been with people who have quiet feet... and then with people who have heavy feet... needless to say having heavy feet seem to reflect itself in all actions, in all habits and in all movements... (redundancy probably... but still). it's irritating and it wakes people up.

some people aren't concious of having heavy feet... when they make a lot of rucous... but i bet, subconciously they have something they want to be noisy about.

hi to del.

Confusions...

2005-06-17T12:10:00.000-07:00

Confusion... to mix up... to jumble... to make mentally unclear... Confusion is caused by something unknown... uncertain. I've had that... everyone has. It feels like something's going crazy deep inside that you feel helpless. So many thoughts run through your mind, so many what ifs... so many possibilities - all not going according to plan or things such as... if only i did this... You feel your muscles tense, your head throbs, you start having problems breathing. Your stomach cramps and you suddenly feel fear...

Because you think nothing will turn out right.

i realized some things about confusion. one is that it's us that causes it not the circumstances around us. the circumstance are just added bonus, they're just there to add to the pressure... something that could give a high or be downright depressing.

another thing i realized about confusion... is that it's when we don't want to take responsibility for the decision we'd like to make. it's when our desire; what we want struggles with what should be and what is right. because we're trapped with wanting to have both, we get confused of which one to choose... and even though knowing that what is right should be the one we choose, we don't want to take responsibility for it.

funny, isn't it?