Confusions...

Confusion... to mix up... to jumble... to make mentally unclear... Confusion is caused by something unknown... uncertain. I've had that... everyone has. It feels like something's going crazy deep inside that you feel helpless. So many thoughts run through your mind, so many what ifs... so many possibilities - all not going according to plan or things such as... if only i did this... You feel your muscles tense, your head throbs, you start having problems breathing. Your stomach cramps and you suddenly feel fear...

Because you think nothing will turn out right.

i realized some things about confusion. one is that it's us that causes it not the circumstances around us. the circumstance are just added bonus, they're just there to add to the pressure... something that could give a high or be downright depressing.

another thing i realized about confusion... is that it's when we don't want to take responsibility for the decision we'd like to make. it's when our desire; what we want struggles with what should be and what is right. because we're trapped with wanting to have both, we get confused of which one to choose... and even though knowing that what is right should be the one we choose, we don't want to take responsibility for it.

funny, isn't it?