Defensive Mechanisms...

It's just funny. People have this unusual way of handling embarrassment (sorry, i speak well, but damn, my spelling needs work... hey that's why i have a dictionary... hehehehe). My husband and i were at NBI and there was this woman who was told to put her thumb mark on the clearance paper.

Okay, there's this guy who helps with the finger marking... and the girl just went over, coated her thumb with whatever they use for that thumb marking and stabbed it on her paper... then she made saw she a mistake... now then she turns to the guy and asks him if it was wrong and when she found out it was, she got all angry and blamed the guy for not helping her... how weird is that? And my gosh did she make a scandal out of the guy not helping her in the first place...

i don't know. it's nice to learn that there are people who have matured and learned to swallow their pride. it's just so easy to blow up and scream to the world that things aren't fair... but hey, it is fair, we're just not too happy with our share that's why we make lots of fuss about it.

i'm not saying we should just be complacent. that's not my point. we were born to be achievers, to finish goals... we expect a lot we need to work a lot for it... i don't know maybe it was easy back then when we didn't fall... but that was eons ago and i can't change it due to the fact that jumping generations won't cut it.

anyway, going back to being defensive... what is it all about anyway? i guess it's all that i think i'm better so i need to push my ideas more. how do we fix this quirk? do i say we need to grow up? hmmm... let me think... well, in order not to be defensive people need to see if what they have done is right or wrong... and admitting that you're wrong is one of the hardest thing someone can ever do. there's this big lump in your throat that you just can't swallow when you know you've made a mistake and since you don't want to swallow that you just burst out ranting and trying to prove your point.

but you know what, swallowing that big lump gets easier and easier and you notice that it becomes smaller and smaller as you learn to admit you're wrong... and so yes, growing up is needed to take away being so defensive. we're protecting ourselves when we become defensive. our ideas, our stuff, our points of view... but you know what... it's not just about you or me or the other guy... it's about everyone else. if you don't want to be proven wrong or if you don't want to have anyone challenge you, then be an island. you''ll have no care, you'll have peace of mind and you'll be alone. this isn't such a bad thing you know... but that's a totally different point now and i'm not going to going to that today.

oh well, so that's it for defensive mechanisms. here are tips by the way to be quickly helped by people working in our government:

1. smile, always greet people with a smile. the people who work behind the counters are important. they can make your life hell or they can make the process of whatever you're applying for become shorter. oh yes... it's supposed to be a genuine smile. from the core of your heart that would lift up your face and put twinkles in your eyes. hey it makes people warm all over.

2. be polite. call them by their names, not just boss, bossing, miss, psst! either sir or ma'am would do. and using po (filipino thing... this is a really important word. it gets you to different places in the philippines and lots of people to help you) with excuse me and other stuff that you wish to say. aside from being polite be contrite as well, no haughtiness here. it's a death trap when you become haughty and i tell you, the people at the counter will hate you forever.

3. be helpful. when the guy behind the counter loses his pen due to someone borrowing it, lend yours to quicken the paperwork he's doing. and when he reaches your documents you smile sweetly. he'll remember you for that. not only a he but also a she.

4. make simple, day to day chitchat. inform them about your hardships of applying for stuff because you know nothing... people love telling you what they know...

most of the stuff here are old news but hey, it's good to remember them once in awhile.

5. and lastly, never be afraid to ask. you're more stupid if you don't ask dammit!

so there... in all honesty this thing about defensive mechanism... it's just us being little again holding on to that comfort blanket that we always carry around. :)

later then