Just thinking...

Right now... i'm relaxing... in all honesty, i should be relaxing and not worrying about lots of stuff anymore. :)

In a way i feel guilty that i am not doing my work, but i just feel like i want to do something else. What could this be? Is it being lazy or i need to relax? Could it be i'm pressuring myself to just continuously work? A lot of people say that i need to take it easy now. I'm not being a martyr. It's just that... i guess i've had work for forever and that's what i've focused my mind on since i entered college and graduated.

I've loved my husband since we were in college and yes he's part of my life, but i guess i see that it's my work that i've concentrated on. I mean, honestly, call me cold when i'm concentrating and working on something... and i just realized that i have been putting it first rather than my health, my husband and well... everything else.

There are times that i wish i could have a vacation... but i cna't seem to find the right time... but when will i have the right time, huh? Have i not done enough, i wonder? I think i've worked enough.

i don't want to worry about what will happen after later or when i give birth. i feel like i want to leave everything behind... not leave.. not to worry about so many things. i guess it has something to do with money... i don't know. is it about money? hmmm... i guess it's more on responsibility taken to another level. i guess i've obsessed about it.

it's good to be repsonsible, but i think i shouldn't over do it. i shouldn't miss out on anything just because of work. hmmm... i do have other things as well... so should i just drop projects when there are offers?

i think it's more on giving correct priorities. what is more important to me, right? now the challenge is... really sorting out what's important to me. HORK i say. hmmm...