Just thinking...

Right now... i'm relaxing... in all honesty, i should be relaxing and not worrying about lots of stuff anymore. :)

In a way i feel guilty that i am not doing my work, but i just feel like i want to do something else. What could this be? Is it being lazy or i need to relax? Could it be i'm pressuring myself to just continuously work? A lot of people say that i need to take it easy now. I'm not being a martyr. It's just that... i guess i've had work for forever and that's what i've focused my mind on since i entered college and graduated.

I've loved my husband since we were in college and yes he's part of my life, but i guess i see that it's my work that i've concentrated on. I mean, honestly, call me cold when i'm concentrating and working on something... and i just realized that i have been putting it first rather than my health, my husband and well... everything else.

There are times that i wish i could have a vacation... but i cna't seem to find the right time... but when will i have the right time, huh? Have i not done enough, i wonder? I think i've worked enough.

i don't want to worry about what will happen after later or when i give birth. i feel like i want to leave everything behind... not leave.. not to worry about so many things. i guess it has something to do with money... i don't know. is it about money? hmmm... i guess it's more on responsibility taken to another level. i guess i've obsessed about it.

it's good to be repsonsible, but i think i shouldn't over do it. i shouldn't miss out on anything just because of work. hmmm... i do have other things as well... so should i just drop projects when there are offers?

i think it's more on giving correct priorities. what is more important to me, right? now the challenge is... really sorting out what's important to me. HORK i say. hmmm...

Priveleges...

Today ritchie and i went shopping for lotsa extra baby stuff. It was so exciting and euphoric. There were so many to choose from! There are so many things that can be given to baby and I wanted to get so many things! But of course, ritchie and i had a budget. I'm not sad that we had a budget. it's discipline for ritchie and i and hopefully it's a quality that our baby will also have... discipline, i mean.

That's not the privelege thing i want to talk about. While eating our meager lunch and watching other people pass by and looking at the stores, it just hit me that ritchie and i are so priveleged. I mean sure, we can't buy everything we want, we don't have our own place, we aren't monetarily rich [believe me, we're not] and so on and so forth... but we are so blessed and i just saw that we're priveleged.

How?

We are so thankful that we have good jobs. So what if it's in a call center or we're freelance and we have to run around running after other people's schedules... we have jobs that allow us to give our monthly contributions so we aren't totally dependent on our parents/in-laws. we have jobs that allows us to go on our little, simple dates and be with each other.

We are so blessed and priveleged because mu husband and i are able to spend time with each other. We don't always have to have a schedule to go out. We aren't pressed for time. Just as long as we're together... my babuf and i are happy.

We are priveleged because we have so many good and wonderful friends. We all have quirks, we all have differences, but we're a blessing to each other.

I know that there are more blessings... like wonderful in-laws. they truly are caring and full of things to share to ritchie and i. my parents are slowly changing as well and i am very thankful for that... there are so many other things. i can't name them all... i'm just writing about some of them just to say it out loud or write it out...

Oh, by the way... when we arrived in mega mall we heard bagpipes and lo and behold! it was some guy named Roy and he can play the bagpipes! i swear and he had a complete outfit! he was wearing his kilt/plaid/tartan... today was really a wonderful day. :)

I have the pictures from the shower... please don't laugh at my teddy bear night gown. heheheheheh...

Many thanks to the Wonderful People who went to the Shower!!!

Your presence was a blessing to us. We had a wonderful time and we actually closed the shower at 9:30pm! The gifts you have given are still in the den waiting for Ritchie and i to open them... i just want him to be there when i open those wonderful things you have given the little bunchums.

Thank you for helping us with the names. Hahahah! You'll find out what her names will be here on my blog. Yes! She will have a second name and we'll chose it from the second most popular in the list.

Thank you again and wait for the pics!